you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
