You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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