SEEEEXXX PLEASE
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
