I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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