just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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