What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize