Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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