absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Randomize