I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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