Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
