i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize