What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
