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I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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