Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize