He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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