dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Is it penis luge time yet?
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
