she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
These tits shall not be calmed
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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