you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
The best revenge is premature balding
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize