let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
