btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
