so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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