I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
