god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
