I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
