I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Randomize