Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I understand Curling. That high.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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