i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
