bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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