So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
