Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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