Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
it was like eating out sand paper
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
