He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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