Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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