I don't remember. Are we still dating?
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
