she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize