It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Rumble strips road head = magical
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
