how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Say something about gay babies.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
You're like the curious george of whores
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
