This girl is more easily done than said...
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize