I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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