I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize