I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
