Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
The air was thick with penises
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
