i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
you never un-have a 4some
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
