i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
