He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
