I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
People with herpes should wear stickers.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
