no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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