scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
