the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
