is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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