And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
