he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
