dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
