Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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