So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
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