he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Randomize
