the day after is always just damage control
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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