Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
