Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
