i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
