He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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