The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
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